“The passing time shall bid it adieu”… the poem is great Krishnan, great start to ur bogging career… the line in quotes however is painfuly ‘not true’…
you will yearn to forget.. but you wont forget..try your best.. but you wont forget…
wel actually i was speaking about the opportunity.. the time.. the moment.. and time shall pass with the protagonist feeling helpless .. unable to find the right words… all those shall be lost.. and the next para precisely talks about wat u said..
Pure as they are and shall remain,
Entrenched in my mind,
Freedom I shall not claim
It has trapped me feelings so unreal.
lol.. and let me tell u i cant interpret my own feelings.. the poems are great vehicles I discovered. a bold attempt to reflect them!!
Its called mirroring in Conselling terms.When you try to understand yourself better by throwing your feelings on something which later talks back to u…could be a person..could be a poem
WooooW da.. Never knew dis side of urs!!! Good attempt in ur first poem re !! Simply elegant and simple. The title is awesome.. Apt one. Good Work as a buddin poet err i guess u r one !!
U cud have avoided explicit use of rhyming words. I advice u not to typecaste poems as “shud be rhyming”.
But still, uve brought out the feeling and the meaning.. Good Work. All the best for ur coming up ones !!
mm…impressive…truly abstract love is isn’t it..u tried to question and ponder in vain…very well worded:)great work..and also shows u’ve written from within:)bravo!
Hey Krishnan..thats a great start !!
man ..how many things are u going 2 b 2 good at..
i think that would be the next great thing about u..highly verssatlile..
A friend of mandar’s he asked to commment on your poem.
Firstly its excellent poem with emphasis on rhyme scheme. The interetsing thing about poem is the inherent contradiction. I think you or protagonist would be more of ‘besotted’ kind than being ‘innocent’ at least thats what poem conveys.I also fail to understand the line ” U changed the Perfect, now u all set to leave?” are you writing out of hatred for her. I find it puzzling.Your are craving for her but still you still can life of you before her perfect.
But its a indeed a good poem capturing the true mood and feelings in broken-hearted soul.
Carry on
Haha … now let me clarify.. there is no ‘HER’.. its abstract.. the line.. “U changed the Perfect, now u all set to leave?” conveys feeling of love.. we all fall in love cause the perfect.. ideal state in our mind gets redefined by her/him… the word innocence conveys that the feeling u know is pure .. but explanations/justification of ur feelings are more based on trust/belief rather than on reason/rational.. now she leaves u does not convey HATRED.. my god.. !! not even close.. its just a sadness which grips u… but a poem is open to interpretation.. every individual has his/her own.. so thanks for ur comments
Well Krish…I read all d comments n trust me all of m av d same kinda reaction which I have…frankly da I dont av enough words to express the beauty n simplicity of ur peoms but one thing’s for sure is…all of m r direct reflection of U n ur inner self…strange combination u r but its true…Continui buon andare del lavoro. Amerebbe leggerlo di più…I officially crown u as Dirk Pitt da…Hats off to u…
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The feel factor; Its not a reel factor,
Tinges of realism; Pricks ur mind,
Its rarely one of its kind.
So ppl feel and “Evol with Love”
Gr8 work man; way to go.
I never knew u write poems!! But it’s really moving Krish!!
Is it the ‘you’ who wrote this or the ‘Poet’ in you??[Subtle nuances]
both I guess… Poet just a consequence of the emotional self..
brilliant Krishnan! Never knew that u were poet too…
very nicely written..
Good Poem da Krishnan. Keep writing good stuffs like this. All the best.
Wow
g8888 man….who was the inspiration.:))
well.. whom is this written for.. or in whose thoughtS??? hehehe.. good one!!
Not bad at all… Way to go !!!
“The passing time shall bid it adieu”… the poem is great Krishnan, great start to ur bogging career… the line in quotes however is painfuly ‘not true’…
you will yearn to forget.. but you wont forget..try your best.. but you wont forget…
wel actually i was speaking about the opportunity.. the time.. the moment.. and time shall pass with the protagonist feeling helpless .. unable to find the right words… all those shall be lost.. and the next para precisely talks about wat u said..
Pure as they are and shall remain,
Entrenched in my mind,
Freedom I shall not claim
It has trapped me feelings so unreal.
lol.. and let me tell u i cant interpret my own feelings.. the poems are great vehicles I discovered. a bold attempt to reflect them!!
Gr8 dear..
Never knew u have such a creative brain.
U rock..
way to go and looking more of the same in this creative ( unknown till now ) side of u
Its called mirroring in Conselling terms.When you try to understand yourself better by throwing your feelings on something which later talks back to u…could be a person..could be a poem
WooooW da.. Never knew dis side of urs!!! Good attempt in ur first poem re !! Simply elegant and simple. The title is awesome.. Apt one. Good Work as a buddin poet err i guess u r one !!
U cud have avoided explicit use of rhyming words. I advice u not to typecaste poems as “shud be rhyming”.
But still, uve brought out the feeling and the meaning.. Good Work. All the best for ur coming up ones !!
Vini
wow wil keep tat in mind
… VINI
Hey Manan .. WOW.. why was i feeling that something like that exists.. mirroring is it.. wow . .cool man…
thanku thanku 
mm…impressive…truly abstract love is isn’t it..u tried to question and ponder in vain…very well worded:)great work..and also shows u’ve written from within:)bravo!
kalakkitte da CAK….
Hey Krishnan..thats a great start !!
man ..how many things are u going 2 b 2 good at..
i think that would be the next great thing about u..highly verssatlile..
keep it going ..tc..
hello!
A friend of mandar’s he asked to commment on your poem.
Firstly its excellent poem with emphasis on rhyme scheme. The interetsing thing about poem is the inherent contradiction. I think you or protagonist would be more of ‘besotted’ kind than being ‘innocent’ at least thats what poem conveys.I also fail to understand the line ” U changed the Perfect, now u all set to leave?” are you writing out of hatred for her. I find it puzzling.Your are craving for her but still you still can life of you before her perfect.
But its a indeed a good poem capturing the true mood and feelings in broken-hearted soul.
Carry on
Haha … now let me clarify.. there is no ‘HER’.. its abstract.. the line.. “U changed the Perfect, now u all set to leave?” conveys feeling of love.. we all fall in love cause the perfect.. ideal state in our mind gets redefined by her/him… the word innocence conveys that the feeling u know is pure .. but explanations/justification of ur feelings are more based on trust/belief rather than on reason/rational.. now she leaves u does not convey HATRED.. my god.. !! not even close.. its just a sadness which grips u… but a poem is open to interpretation.. every individual has his/her own.. so thanks for ur comments
lol.. too interesting.
you surely are multifaceted…..
Kewl man. Get going.
Cute & sweet approach in ever way unique of urself..
Congrats & hats-off krishna!!!
Keep on writing!!!
Hey Krish.. u rock man!! tat was super cool
Well Krish…I read all d comments n trust me all of m av d same kinda reaction which I have…frankly da I dont av enough words to express the beauty n simplicity of ur peoms but one thing’s for sure is…all of m r direct reflection of U n ur inner self…strange combination u r but its true…Continui buon andare del lavoro. Amerebbe leggerlo di più…I officially crown u as Dirk Pitt da…Hats off to u…